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Thursday, October 27, 2011

I'm Cuckoo for Zombies!

YES! I'M cuckoo for zombies like a tiger digs frosted flakes. All zombie movies are excellent, but the ones with humor are the cream of the crop.

The best zombie movie ever is Shaun of the Dead. It's a British film and I love the snarky humor that the Brits do oh so well. In fact, I sell a lot of t-shirts and bumper stickers in that part of the world (insert shameless plug here >> www.cuckooforzombies.com. )

I'm not a fan of all horror movies. The slasher and senseless violence movies like My Bloody Valentine or Friday the 13th: number 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...42 are just stupid and I have to say pretty formulaic. I've been looking for a chance to use the word formulaic without it looking like it was on my word of the day calendar and LOOK-here it is!

I think that's why I enjoyed Scary Movie so much. I mean, we all know what's going to happen in a slasher movie, right?
  • No! Don't go into the basement/woods/tool shed/serial-killer-rec-room-that's-clearly-marked all by yourself!
  • ACK! Look behind you! [they never never DO even when I try to warn them by screaming at the television.]
  • All minor characters get taken out one at a time to build the suspense of the final dual between the bad guy and the main character. However, the minor characters are always killed off one by one in order of importance, which generally means in order of minority/gender/ or funny but expandable sidekick. 
  • Flashlights NEVER work, or only work long enough to make you feel safe about going into the basement/woods/tool shed/serial-killer-rec-room-that's-clearly-marked!
So, that's why I prefer zombie movies. First of all zombies are the slowest villains ever! Basically, you're watching a geriatric-like monster travel at negative 7 mph towards an able-bodied hero who somehow, always JUST gets away. Suspense in slow motion! It's fabulous. And no matter what, I end up screaming and jumping off the couch in fright. I do this even when I've seen the movie on 6 previous occasions.  I've never actually watched a zombie movie with another human, I'd like to keep all my friends. I would like to watch one on the big screen, but I'm pretty sure they would bodily remove me from the theater in the first 10 minutes... and they may need duct tape.

And I hate shutting my eyes at the gory parts. Instead I will pause the movie, jump around for a while and sing a happy song until I'm calm enough to continue with the show. This means it took me three days to watch Zombieland... and I loved every minute of it. The best part was that every time I would scream and jump from the couch, my dog would run to the window barking, scaring me even more. So, if you can imagine me jumping up and down singing, my dog barking at the window, intermittently looking to me for some sign of sanity and then... me laughing my ass off when I realized how ridiculous it all was. It's the BEST!

Zombieland is actually my second favorite zombie movie. Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg are brilliant and Bill Murray has a cameo near the end. Let's just say... Bill Murray, always funny! The best part of the story--and a good zombie movie ALWAYS has a story and good character development-- is Woody Harrelson's epic quest for the last Twinkies in a post-apocalyptic-zombie-infested-world. The survival list is fabulous, the humor is pee-your-pants funny and the characters actually pretty endearing.

So, I'm not sure what you're going to dress up as this Halloween, but I can guarantee you I will be on the lookout for roving zombies, probably screaming my head off and then laughing like a loon! It should be a sight.

Happy Halloween everyone!

1 comment:

  1. Oddly enough, I have YET to see Zombieland, and I've heard I am totally missing out!!