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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Oh the Angst & the Poking

Dedicated to Paul Milligan, a man not afraid to hug even a virtual girl. Thank you, Paul. You know why. 

So, I have to admit that when I first started using Facebook, I couldn’t understand the appeal. I mean someone writes “just finished doing dishes” (a gem from my latest facebook day) and I’m inclined to say “Who the hell cares?”

But not too long ago, I became one of the countless facebooking zombies who posts the uninteresting details of their life on the site. And I like it. Of course I also thought the internet was a passing fad and now I can’t live without... Seems I’m a slow-adopter. But that’s okay. It almost guarantees that most of the bugs are gone by the time I get there and I’m fine with that.

In this world of speed dating (that’s one I didn’t adopt at all), hallway conversations, stand up lunches, and texting instead of actually talking, posting our minutia is not that bad of an idea. PS- I love to text. I hate talking on the phone. I always feel like a moron on the phone. Anyway, it’s one way for us to connect with humanity and just say “Hey, I’m here, don’t forget about me.”

I’m always fascinated at what people post and what motivates them to do it. There are the cerebral, the funny and the everyday. Some people talk about God, some politics, some art, literature and business... and some just bitch. Hey that’s alright too. There’s nothing wrong with venting as long as you have another point of view. If you don’t you may want to ease up on the grande espresso.

It seems I’ve turned into a bit of a facebook whore. The kids say this describes people who post a lot. And right now, that would be me. I accept that.

Now, let’s talk about un-friending. I don’t do this very often, but I do occasionally. Someone won’t actually know they’ve been un-friended. I mean they don’t get a message that says, “Hey, Lori hates your guts, you’ve been deleted.”, but eventually they might notice they’re not seeing posts from you anymore. And if they're ambitious enough (this is doubtful considering they’re facebookers) they can double check their friend list to see if you’re gone. Here’s a hint to the un-friended... If you find yourself in this situation... meaning someone’s mysteriously disappeared from your friend list... move on. Save your dignity. Don’t re-friend. Please. It’s awkward and for the most part, it wasn’t any kind of glitch.

You can choose to "like" someone's post or comments and I like that feature. But I think there need to be a few additions to the like: unlike, don't like, you suck. And the other day, on facebook no less, someone suggested a 'bitchslap' option. I support that.

There’s another interesting feature on facebook that not many people use. It’s called “The Poke”. Facebook won’t even explain what this is supposed to be. But honestly, I’m glad they won’t. It leaves the decision up to the user. So here are my suggestions for using the poke.

In anger: as a metaphorical poke in the eye... It’s all fun and games until someone gets poked!

As a pick up line: How you doin’, interested in a poke?

In friendship: pokity poke poke... You know, like that annoying friend (me) who’s always elbowing you at the movies.

In comfort or joy: Poke = Hug. In the way that guys kind of nudge each other when they want to show support.

Being playful: Like: Poke! You're it.

It’s really a versatile tool. I'm a fan of the poke in almost any context. Well, I've gotta get back to facebook and let everyone know I've just blogged about something.


  1. Bitch slap was my idea! Thanks for making it famous! ha ha

  2. You betcha!! ;) It was a great idea.

  3. Just a comment about "the poke" on Facebook. It is mostly used to say "hi". It is used so you don't have to send a message. Why I know this is from me asking what it is for as I get over 100 pokes a day! Happy Blogging!