Escalade Drivers Are Poopy

Well, not actually poopy, in fact, they may not poop at all. Maybe that’s why I don’t like them. They’re too clean. Too “put together”. Too “branded”. Maybe Cadillac installs a narcissist-inducing gas in the Escalade that emits an air of superiority. It’s a shame really because I like Cadillac in general. The Cadillac CTS for instance is a beautiful car, although I probably won’t ever actually drive one.  Not only is it out of my price hemisphere, it’s just too neat for me.

The reality is that I haven’t come across one Escalade driver who considers any other drivers. Not one. We don’t have a lot of Escalade drivers here in Montana, but there are a few and I drive a lot, so statistically, it’s likely I’ve come across every one.  They’re rude, with a capital RUDE.

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Every time I encounter one in traffic, they do something unbelievably arrogant like dive in front of you or cut in line or try to go first at the 4-way stop when they haven’t even STOPPED yet. I’ve seen them consistently run red lights... not yellow, not orange, but “been red for a few seconds” red. It’s ridiculous and I’m sick of it.

And let me say, I could care less that they paid as much for their car as I paid for my house, in fact, I think that makes them a little stupid and a lot wasteful. I’m sure that there’s an exception to this rule. At least I hope there is. I don’t want to think the worst of people, but so far, this has been my experience.

So hear this Escalade drivers! My little Jeep may not have gold emblems or heated seats, it may not conform to your butt or do your taxes, but it and I have more character (and fun) than you will ever have.

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